1. |
Perjury
02:16
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Through the divorce and the doubt, one realisation remains
Either one of us was a liar, or maybe we were both lying to each other and ourselves
Burn
I’ve tried to live as an honest man but everyone fucking loves the liar
Yes, everyone fucking loves the liar
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2. |
Magdalene
03:17
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I exorcise my demons in a pool of wine
Pool of wine
That gentle pool of wine
Love letters written on her wrists, drawing a straight line from me to him
She writes her music to relate, sometimes escape from the mental grasp and the anguish in its wake
Life has never been easy, so she’s calloused and hard
Depression romanticises itself like a lover, never a friend
Or maybe I have stared too long at grey clouds and provided it comfort
Please never forgive me, I am lost and only you can see
Please never forgive me; I am lost and far from holy
You died that night in my arms
Your body pale and weak
Headlights shine on your depression
You didn’t do this for attention
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3. |
Love Trader
03:41
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Look down in doubt at the angel in your arms
He says, “She’s got a mouth to breathe and two eyes to see, if there’s no heaven for you there’s no
heaven for me.”
There’s no heaven for me
At some point I forgot
At some point I forgot it’s not about right and wrong but life and death
I can hold this grudge longer than you can live without love
I’ll bury us deep within a tomb of broken trust
I can’t wait until the depression comes back, at least then I won’t have to feel anything
I can’t wait until the anxiety comes back, at least then I’ll get to feel something again
I can’t wait until depression comes back, at least then I won’t feel anything
I can’t wait until anxiety comes back, at least then I will feel something again
When I point my finger, I’m aware of the three pointing back at me
That’s why I always find meaning in tragedy
I’m not as smart as I used to be, or maybe I’ve realised I was never that smart at all
It’s so easy to ignore all that’s pure when we crave darkness
It’s so hard to resist the darkness when we try to do good
If there’s no heaven for you, there’s no heaven for me
Fear is trading love for meaningless sex
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4. |
October '16
03:06
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Seroquel dreams, waking up high, completely eclipsed, psychotic, manic, helpless, paranoid, deluded
episode, feeling helpless, feeling selfless
No one else knows where I’ve been but me, I’ve lost my sanity
My enemy stares back at me in mirrors
So lie to me, tell myself it’s worth this pain
Luke, wake up
They said don’t show anyone, but I’m showing everyone
Liar, liar, liar, liar
Stopped listening to what people say and started watching what they do
Cos people rarely do what they say, it’s true
Liar, liar, liar, liar
Liar
My enemy stares back at me in mirrors
So lie to me, tell myself it’s worth this pain
The person within me is trapped in a cell, kept talking in riddles I sent him to hell.
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5. |
Victim Complex
02:56
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Audaciously a culprit of self-victimisation, I despise every word that comes out of your mouth
Every sentence to be made up from your questionable self-righteous thought process
Quick to disagree to the theories of your delusional agenda
It makes it so much clearer to see, why you left and why you would flee
One to speak about defilement, yet you’re the one with the forked tongue and everyone fucking
knows it
It makes it so much clearer to me
Defamation to the tee, you raped me of integrity
Defamation to a tee, you raped me of integrity
Mind at ease, this may seem unsettling but I enjoy the thought of your writhed vocal cavity
Mind at ease, mind at ease, I enjoy the thought of your writhed vocal cavity
Quick to disagree to the theories of your delusional agenda
It makes it so much clearer to me
I don’t wish to hear your Cheyne stokes
I just want you to understand
Feel as the real victims choke
Fuck you
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6. |
After Death
04:22
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I like to write things down but I don’t like to read them
I like to draw pictures but I don’t like to keep them
We tell ourselves we are special, well today I feel especially worthless
I sit and feel like every component of my physical form could serve a greater purpose than it’s used
for
I suppose the world is far too cruel to let us live in a fantasy for too long
Reality eventually sings her funeral song
Lately I feel as hard as diamonds, but with none of their shine
Lately I could murder men and bathe in their blood
I could cut this failure into my flesh and salt the wound to death
This gaping hole in my chest just breathes fire, just breathes unrest
But how do I rest? How do I breathe? And will I ever truly forgive?
Maybe I’ll never truly be free; now that you’ve let him see a side of you that was meant for me
You were supposed to be the one I walked through heaven and hell with
I’m a martyr, slain by lions in front of mocking sinners
I’m a slave, beaten like a dog until he begs for mercy
I’m a cancer patient, weakened by disease and the treatment he endures
I’m the father, and the mother
Sometimes I feel like I was born doomed for hell or made perfectly for heaven
It’s black or white
It’s life or death
Always binary options and polar opposites, but life is grey
Made perfectly for heaven
I’m sleepless nights, thoughts taunting you as you beg for a seconds rest
I’m her smile when she delivered the final blow
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7. |
Genesis Flood
02:43
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Deconstructed by everyone, everywhere, everyone wondering what I’m thinking
Reconstructed, revolted by everyone wanting to know if I care
I’ve been scared to pretend that I’m not giving up
I don’t care if we all disappear in the flood
Deconstructed by everyone, everywhere, wondering what I’m thinking
Revolted by everyone wanting to know if I care
I’ve been scared to pretend that I’m not giving up
I don’t care if we all disappear in the flood
Repent. Rebuild. Regret. Conceal.
I’ve been scared to pretend that I’m not giving up
(No, I’m not giving up)
I don’t care if we all disappear in the flood
(No, I’m not giving up)
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8. |
Pine
03:09
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I felt her loss pass through me, the pain of his suffering soon followed
With a whisper in my ear, to the promise I had made to him
Now cemented in his headstone
So cold, so lonely
Not strong enough to brave this world, but strong enough to brave the next one
I can see it clear as day as If I was there
I can feel the fog and the darkness as it envelops his mind
What did he drink to give him the courage? What poison made it easier for such emptiness to
flourish?
Oh God, he never felt more alone
One Godless night, as his body jerks and twitches
A curious morning, as she speaks of white witches
They laughed so loud, it didn’t seem quite right
How could they laugh? It was only last night
Only last night that he gave up his life
I felt her loss pass right through me, the pain of his suffering soon followed
(I felt loss pass right through me, pain and suffering)
I will take care of her, I promise, I promise you
(With a whisper, I made to him, on his headstone)
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9. |
Maternally Malignant
03:28
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Anchor your lips, the words you emit
Courage dribbles into spit
Pour out your hate, mix it with guilt
Feed the hungry ashes that you built
I didn’t know a thing outside of you
Led through your house as a fucking guest
Carry your name, bring up the politics
Make them think it’s me who’s sick
Brought up in imperfection, striving for perfection
Teacher of life, healer of pain
Brought up in imperfection, striving for perfection
Brought up in imperfection, dealer of pain
Known to a few, could barely stand on two
Showed me your empire deep underground
Claws in my arms, wretched filth burn my name
Only taught on how to hate myself
You could not have been further from the point
Of being a lover, a teacher, a mother
I hope you know I’ve always hated you
You’re the one who’s sick and I’m clean now
Promised it all, but you lied
Provoking assisted suicide
Kiss my cheek goodnight
Queen of suffering, Queen of suffering
Brought up in imperfection
Teacher of, healer of pain
And after all that you’ve put me through
Drowning you seems far too sane
I would have built the largest pyre
Cast you in the centre fire
It wouldn’t end, no not that quick for you
I’d make fucking sure of that
I would snare, like you did to me
You fucking liar, liar, liar
Brought up in imperfection, striving for perfection
Brought up in imperfection,
Teacher of, healer of
Pain
The devil called you out, plead you had no way out
Give me love and I swear that I’ll behave, I’ll behave
And I’ll forever wear your face
Let them know it’s you who’s sick
Plead your case, make it quick
Locked by blood, set me fucking free
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10. |
||||
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There’s a moment at a wedding, miming vows meant for others, touching sweetly, kissing freely as
we dance amongst the lovers
There’s a moment at a café at the bottom of the earth, when I studied the hands you chose to give
me first
There’s a moment in a garden, sitting underneath the sun that we needed
We kneeled and we weeded
There’s a moment turning twenty-four, near halfway to fifty, wondering what to wear now my
clothes do not fit me
Drift into your coma, stroll towards your fate
Your sick obsession with yourself, the demons you helped create
I hate airports, I hate planes, but I need time spent away, spent away
I hate airports, I hate planes, but I need time spent away, spent away
No need for distance, not for space, not for months of distain
No need for months of distain
No need for distance, not for space, not for months of distain
No need for months of distain
You let yourself into my house, confessed your sins like a Christian
I licked the tears from your eyes
I ripped the ring from my finger
I’m a martyr, slain by lions in front of scoffing sinners
I’m the laughing stock, a failure surrounded by the winners
I’m a wound, I need to heal but I’m ripped open every morning
Drinking bottle after bottle, these dark spirits are consuming me
It’s in these moments I could murder men and bathe in their blood
Overdose on the drugs I’m on
Cut my flesh, and break my bones
Burn your house, and smash my home
Moments that I’m running from
Moments there’ll be more to come
Moments trembling, hands then numb
Moments, there’ll be more to come
Moments, there’ll be more to come
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11. |
Exodus
03:59
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I’ll cut them all off
(I’ll cut them all off)
I will cut everyone out
(I will cut everyone out)
There’ll be nothing left but me, and I’ll breathe and I’ll breathe great sighs of relief
I’ll see what it is like to be free
I’ll sink into myself and make a world of my own
I’ll make my own God, my laws and my own code
They can’t hurt me anymore, not him, not her
I just won’t feel a thing; I just won’t let them in
I can do this alone, I wasn’t born with them and I won’t die with them
I’ve lived alone, so I can die without them
They don’t choose to see the world as I do
I’ve live alone, so I can die without them
They don’t see the colours the way I do
Just close your eyes and I’ll be gone in an instant
Just close your eyes
Just close your eyes
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